Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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