you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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