What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
