I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
