watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize