yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
