It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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