Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
