Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
