She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
