one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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