Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she smelled like a LAN party
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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