Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize