No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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