Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
