I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
