Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Drunk is not a location!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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