Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Fuck appropriateness.
Even my vagina gasped.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
