He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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