google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I could fuck to npr.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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