This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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