My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
