I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
