i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize