saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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