problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
