just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
