Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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