is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
