I don't think brook has ever known best
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
