First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
