He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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