He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
