My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
