she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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