bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
