Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
