i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Don't EVER smell your tampon
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
