She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
