if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
