I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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