When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
