I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
