were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
