i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
