I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
