Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
