to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
