i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize