Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
