found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
