I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize