garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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