This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
