i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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