I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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