It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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