Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
