You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
