it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
