At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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