so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
