the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
