His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I need water and some morals
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
