you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
