I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
