i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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