Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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