The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We got so high we made milksteak
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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