My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
