Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Pants are for mortals
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize