So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
