hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
