is your mom at the bar?
she was so not down for the gang bang
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize